April is a busy month for the T.O.M.B. family: birthdays,
anniversaries, and social events (which, in my dictionary, is classified as anything requiring me to get out of my PJs and brush my hair). For example, this weekend marks mine and my husband’s 5th anniversary.
We’re simple folk. Movie and dinner, type. Nothing fancy, no bells and whistles; we never really buy each other gifts or expect much out of our anniversaries. I guess you can say that we’re both pretty much stuck on auto-pilot survival mode, too tired from the daily grind to put much planning in this special day. And normally, if we’re lucky enough to get a family member to babysit, we’re rushing through a date before said sitter calls to tell us one of our children burned down our house or broke a limb.
This time, however, my mom (Gigi) has graciously offered to take ALL FIVE children all day Saturday so that Matthew and I can get out and do “whatever”, as she said. Oddly, I find myself both excited and nervous about the prospect of a childless free day.
Why nervous? Because I’m honestly not the best at intimate, tête-à-tête conversations. I’m not the best person with emotional intimacy period! I normally use the children as a distraction from those little moments that my husband likes to spring on me, or I suddenly remember the laundry needs to be rotated.
My love language is “Acts of Service”. This is how I prefer to be shown love, as well as to show my love. In a nutshell, you love me? Help me clean up these Legos; surprise me with an empty sink and clean kitchen when I get home from the store. Don’t try to stare deep into my eyes, hold my hand, and tell me that I’m your sun and stars, because I’ll internally cringe. I’ll tell you to shut up and help me bathe the children. And for me, I show my husband I love him by washing his laundry, and attempting to keep the house cleaned and the children alive.
That’s just me. Though, I will say that I am slowly learning to both accept and reciprocate these verbal gestures of affirmation from my husband because well, Words of Affirmation is his love language.
But, good gracious if I’m not totally freaking out over the idea of having the whole day with him, just us. If I’m an ostrich, my children are the sand in which I bury my head and, well, no children = no sand. On top of this, we both agreed not to do a bunch of activities (like going to the movies) that basically require us not to speak to each other. Also, take into account that this will be our first “date” since we took my niece in in January.
So what do we do with ourselves? What do you do with an entire day with no kids? Because, honestly, if it were up to me, we’d drive an hour back home and get the entire house cleaned (and throw away those old, broken toys in secret), but I don’t think he’s going to go for that.
Wish me luck!